I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
