I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
