Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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