We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
