Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
