the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
