Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize