why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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