Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
