just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
