I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
