remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
