Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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