She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
