3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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