if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
