you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
