A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Congratulations! We have a period
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