His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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