I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
