I'm jealous of your bromance
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
