I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
