My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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