somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
