They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
