The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
