part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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