This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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