Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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