Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
