worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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