I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
