I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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