Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
