just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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