I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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