Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's Friday. Sex?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
