I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
