Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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