i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
