I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
