i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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