Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
