the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
