i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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