she was so not down for the gang bang
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
