Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
