I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
