So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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