I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
