I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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