I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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