OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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