After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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