tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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