thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
