its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
