either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize