ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
