Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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