the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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