i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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