i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
