dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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