i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
