I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't make out with my wife yet
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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