Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
